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When you have a possessive boyfriend

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And worse, your friends and family are starting to notice. They are begging you to do something about it. This stress is taking a toll on you in other areas of your life. A possessive boyfriend seeks control. He wants to manipulate you into doing the things he wants. This is often because he is insecure and thinks, by controlling you, that he can get what he wants in his relationship with you.

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17 Big Signs of a Jealous and Possessive Boyfriend!

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While it is great to feel loved and cherished, there is a fine line between caring behavior and possessive behavior. If you feel like your boyfriend is or is becoming possessive, you should address the issue as quickly as possible. While possessive behavior is usually rooted in low self-esteem, a possessive partner will turn these feelings back on you.

Your boyfriend may not realize that his behavior is upsetting you, so try describing your feelings to him. Reassure him that you love him and want to be with him, but you need to feel trusted in your relationship. If your boyfriend isn't willing to change his behavior or listen to your concerns, then it may be time to break up with him.

To learn how to handle the backlash after you break up with your possessive boyfriend, keep reading. Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Article Edit. Learn why people trust wikiHow. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice.

There are 6 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Removing Yourself from the Situation. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of Describe your feelings. Maybe this is his first relationship, or maybe his last girlfriend had a personality different to your own. Talking about your wants and needs in the relationship is always a good place to start. Calling names can result in an argument, but expressing your feelings should not.

Discuss the behaviors you feel are unacceptable. This should be an explicit and private discussion in which you can openly talk about the types of behaviors that you do not want to tolerate in a relationship. These should be limited to issues that you are not willing to compromise on. Here are some examples of behaviors that you may feel are unacceptable: Asking you to stop hanging out with your friends, especially male friends, without a good reason.

Going through your phone, email, or personal belongings. Requiring explanations for your every move throughout the day. Making you feel guilty for needing to change plans for a legitimate reason. Explain your needs in your relationship. Your boyfriend may not know your unique needs in your relationship, so it is important that you communicate with him. This may help to alleviate his possessive behavior. Explain your need for independent lives.

Tell your boyfriend that even though you love spending time with him, it is important for you to be able to spend time with your friends and family as well. Having a life outside of your partner is a very important part of a healthy relationship [4] X Research source Encourage him to spend time with his friends and family without you, too. Communicate your desire to be trusted. Just as you trust him, he should be able to trust you as well.

This is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. Negotiate some rules for your relationship: for example, both of you should be allowed to have and spend time with friends of the opposite sex; however, complete honesty, loyalty, and monogamy are to be expected. Discuss your commitment to your relationship. Possessive behavior is most commonly rooted in low self-esteem and insecurity. Verbal affirmations are a powerful way to reassure your boyfriend. Include him in plans with your friends.

Often, his possessiveness will come from jealously as well as insecurity. In particular, it may be helpful to have your boyfriend meet your male friends. He may feel uncomfortable about other males with whom you spend time. However, this is not a reason for you to stop spending time with them; instead, invite your boyfriend along to show him that there is no threat to your relationship. Give your relationship time to heal.

Be aware that progress takes time. Your boyfriend will not change overnight. You must be willing to put in time and effort to help these changes in his possessive behavior take place. Instead, call him out on the behavior immediately and explain to him how it makes you feel. When he behaves in a way that you appreciate, tell him. This will make him want to do it more often.

Be realistic about whether your relationship is worth fixing. If your boyfriend wants to change his behavior and is willing to respect your feelings and listen to your wants and needs in your relationship, you may be willing to give your relationship another shot.

However, if you are feeling depressed, scared, anxious, or fearful, you should leave the relationship. Remember that as much as you want him to change, you cannot change him. He must be willing to initiate and follow through with the change in his own behavior. Method 2 of Prepare to break up with your possessive boyfriend. His desire to control his partner may be a part of his personality, but it is one you should not have to put up with.

It is then time to break up. Plan what you want to say. Remember that your opinion matters and that you deserve to be listened to. Do not let your possessive boyfriend turn the guilt back around on you- remember that you are the one ending this relationship, and you are doing it for a valid and legitimate reason.

Go through with the breakup. Breakups are never easy, and they can be especially hard if you were the one being controlled in a possessive relationship. Pick a place and time to break up with your boyfriend. While breaking up is usually best done face-to-face, a possessive boyfriend may behave in an overemotional or abusive way. A well-populated public place may be the safest for a breakup if you feel in any way concerned about the possible reaction of your boyfriend.

Share your intention to break up with your possessive boyfriend with a trusted friend or family member. Ask this person to hold you accountable for going through with it. Make him let you speak. You should be able to tell him what you want to tell him without being interrupted. As long as you do it in a controlled and civil way, he should listen. After you say what you need to say, and give him a chance to respond, remove yourself form the situation. Give it time to settle down before you are in contact again.

Prepare yourself for potential backlash. If your boyfriend was possessive while you were dating, he will likely carry this behavior through your breakup. Being prepared for this can help you deal with it when the time comes.

Beware of his attempts to guilt you into staying with him. The important thing is that you recognize that this is emotional manipulation- do not tolerate it!

If your ex-boyfriend is threatening harm to himself or others, it is essential that you let someone know immediately. Call if you believe he or anyone else may be in immediate danger.

Stick to your guns. Get support from friends and family. You should ask for help or support from your true friends and family in whatever capacity you need. You might need them to reconfirm your choice to end your relationship, or to remind you of some of the concerning behavior of your now ex-boyfriend.

Reconnecting with the people that you may have lost during your relationship with your possessive boyfriend can be a helpful part of moving on from that unhealthy relationship.

Get professional help if you need it. Removing yourself from a possessive relationship can be challenging. However, fear of being alone is not reason enough to stay with someone who you feel is controlling you. A counselor can help you deal with any negative feelings that you have and can help you deal with the pain of ending a relationship.

Talking through your relationship can be a healthy way to come to terms with the fact that the behavior of your partner was wrong.

7 Signs of a Possessive Boyfriend (And How to Deal With Him)

There is a very fine line between having a protective lover and a possessive lover …. What separates innocent possessiveness as seen in the first few insecure stages of love with aggressive possessiveness? When left unexplored and unresolved, possessive relationships can amount to feelings of profound unhappiness, anxiety, anger, and even physical or emotional abuse.

When it comes to relationships, there is a very thin line between true love and obsession. In the beginning, a little jealousy here and there is not only normal, but it's healthy. But how can you tell if that line has been crossed?

There are a number of common traits and attitudes that characterize possessive and controlling men. Now, there are other things they have in common besides the characteristics we explain in this article. Sometimes they hide their behavior through subtle and kind gestures, while others act without thinking twice. The point is that they build prisons little by little where they end up trapping their partners.

Deal with a Possessive Boyfriend

Being possessive in a relationship is very normal. After all, you want to show your care for this person and in the process, you may get too attached to the one you love. Unless you have crossed all the stages of love, you will continue to be possessive because you are scared of losing this person. When he shows his possessive side, you feel at the top of the world as you only find yourself so much desired by your partner. However, what if that crosses the line and you feel suffocated with his possessive behaviour? Here are a few signs that you should be aware of so that you can tell what is controlling and possessive. In case these habits of his have taken a toll on your life, then you should speak about it with your partner. He could be doing these unintentionally so communicating will clarify in case there has been some misunderstanding. So whatever you decide he always wants to have a say.

12 Signs You Have a Possessive Boyfriend, Girlfriend or Partner (and What to Do)

Since it can often be quite subtle, you might not notice right away if your partner is possessive. In fact, you might even view their actions as caring or sweet, or think that they just have your best interests at heart. But since these everyday moments can turn toxic over time, it's helpful to see them for what they really are. If your partner is possessive, it doesn't necessarily mean they're trying to control you on purpose , though the results can be the same.

While it is great to feel loved and cherished, there is a fine line between caring behavior and possessive behavior.

To possess is to own. When you bought an object, you naturally become the owner of that object. When you love something so much, you want to see it every day, and hold and put it by your side every minute of the day. This kind of love is difficult when applied to human beings.

Possessive and Controlling Men: Characteristics and Attitudes

When you display a sign of possessiveness, you could be seen as a girl who loves her boyfriend a lot and fears losing him. You may believe that your boyfriend is really possessive only because he loves you so much. And each time he displays his possessiveness and gets to control your behavior, it makes him feel more powerful in the relationship.

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7 Signs Your Partner Is Possessive — & What Experts Say To Do About It

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